Saturday 9 May 2009

Dems organize Dijon mustard protest!

Real men use Dijon mustard. It’s the spicy manly stuff, used by regular guys across the country who eat jalapenos as a manhood ritual, and harden the arteries of the nation with a million Saturday barbecues and grills. Not for them the wimpy yellow baby-shit mustard. Bobby Flay, King of the Barbecue, uses spicy mustard. Or is he part of the Elitist Internationale too?

And Hannity and the GOP are completely unaware of this. The rightwing loons are actually accusing MSNBC of concealing this Dijon outrage, as though Obama was caught buying heroin or something – totally clueless. They claim to be the regular-guy party, but they are actually the people who exploit and rip off the regular guy for their money and their votes, without every understanding how regular guys live.

Just last week the GOP leaders, dressed in their preppy button-downs, rolled out a new marketing initiative for the party eating good American food. Except it was Italian. And Hannity didn’t say diddly about these elitists slurping down that slop from Communist Europe.

The current GOP hasn’t changed since the early 1980s when Ed Meese encouraged corporations to discover evil-doers (regular-guy evildoers) within their ranks by frequenting the local regular-guy “taverns”, a word that would never be used by a regular guy who’s ever wrapped one hand around a pool cue and another around a longneck in a real bar.

The Democrats have been the regular-guy party since Andy Jackson, and we always will be. The GOP is the party of the fatcats who screw us over and then lie about it. And then go off to their clubs and eat food we can’t afford, topped with 40-ingredient French sauces that take three days to make.

We have a website! It’s . (Disclaimer: not really)

So let’s organize a million-man barbecue. America’s regular guys, the guys who rejected the baby-shit-mustard-eating crooks-and-liars GOP on election day, will be at their grills on the Fourth of July, cooking up burgers that drip juice down your arm, with spicy mustard. That same day, the GOP elitists plan to throw another tea party, pinkies extended, to protest Obama raising our taxes right after Obama cut our taxes.

**UPDATE** -- Thanks to Crooks and Liars, here is a recipe involving Dijon mustard, courtesy of that flaming elitist Communist, George W. Bush:

President and Laura Bush's Deviled Eggs Recipe

12 large eggs, boiled hard and peeled
1 Tbsp (plus) soft butter
1 Tbsp (plus) mayonnaise
1 Tbsp Dijon mustard
1/2 tsp Yucatan Sunshine Habanero sauce
Salt to taste

Cut eggs in half and set aside. Put egg yolks in food processor and add all ingredients. Process for 20 seconds or until mixture has blended. Check for taste and increase mustard, salt or Habanero sauce if desired. Place mixture in piping bag with star tip and pipe into egg halves. Sprinkle with paprika and chopped parsley. Chill for about an hour before serving.

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