Tuesday 27 April 2010

Battle stations! The unicorns are coming!

One thing I find fascinating about the wingnut militiamen, is how they think that they are going to be the Darwinesque survivors if they manage to overthrow the government for the terrible crime of allowing a colored feller to run the store. To that end, these “patriots” have built disaster shelters, stocked with food, batteries, radios, and lots and lots of guns. All ready for the day when Big Gummint comes in their black helicopters, airborne beasts which live only in the world of their fantasy, like unicorns, mermaids, and their cherished racial stereotypes.

Thousands of years of human history show us that survival in tough times often has little to do with the tuna fish and bandaids stacked up in your garage. The people who make it are the ones who are smart, who are unafraid, and who never forget who they are or what they stand for. America was built by pioneers, survivors who weren't afraid of new places, new ideas, new ways to live, new ways to build a community. People who didn't think "GUNS!" first in every crisis. Immigrants, risk-takers, explorers, destroyers of the status quo, builders of new things…liberals all, by the way.

And building shelters….what are you sheltering from?...All those chubby suburban Rambo wannabes who are cringing in their little shelters because they are afraid of nukes and Muslims and terrorists and skeery black guys with guns and big gummint and gays and imaginary socialists and new ideas and the revenooers and (OMG!) government bans on extortionate health premiums…all terrified of bogeymen in open defiance of the known facts, people who think that constitutional democracy is great except when they lose, people who fantasize about being the Hardy Revolutionaries of the Forest while driving to the corner drugstore because they would be too winded if they had to walk...

When the Apocalypse comes, those guys are going to be my lunch. Tastes just like chicken!

Doesn't matter how many guns they have -- the British had more guns in 1787, the US had more guns in Vietnam, the Russians had more guns in Afghanistan. If sheer power and force were the tie-breakers in the survival derby, the dinosaurs would be running the store right now.

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