Saturday, 28 November 2009

The menace from Fredonia

Let’s play a parlor trick on the Republicans.

Let’s send Robert Gibbs out to announce to the White House press corps that America faces an imminent attack from terrorists based in Fredonia.

And then wait for the insanity to begin.

Glenn Beck: (weeping) OMG the humanity! All the women and little children at risk of being MURDERED IN THEIR BEDS by these Fredonians!

Michael Steele: We’re imposing a new litmus test. Anyone Republican doesn’t take a hard line on Fredonians will be drummed out of the party.

Dick Cheney: We warned the Obama people about this Fredonia threat, but they just don’t care about endangering every American man, woman and child.

Sarah Palin: All ya gotta do is look at the dang map, and see the border between Fredonia and Ruritania, and the threat is so obvious that everybody but Obama can see it!

Joe Lieberman: Clearly Obama was remiss in not nuking Fredonia because of the obvious threat to Israel …

Orly Taitz: If Obama was a real American, he would have wiped out the Fredonians months ago!

Mitch McConnell: We’re introducing an amendment that will block all health care reform unless the Fredonian menace is met with military conquest – and all abortions and gay marriages are banned in conquered Fredonia.

Chris Matthews: back in my day, Lyndon Johnson was a real man, he never would have let this Fredonia thing spin out of control!

David Broder: If only Obama had the good sense to listen to the establishment and the moderates in his own party on Fredonia, we wouldn’t be in such terrible danger!

David Gregory: I’ve been to Fredonia many times, and I just can’t understand how the Obama administration lost control of this issue.

Boehner: …and those Fredonians have that creepy brown skin too. Gives me the willies.

Chuck Todd: In an overnight poll, two-thirds of Americans are afraid of Fredonia and think Obama isn’t doing enough to fight them.

McCain: My advisers told me to attack Obama last year for his naïve policy on Fredonia, but I don’t believe in going negative.

George Stephanopoulos: Bill Clinton would have reached a deal with these Fredonians before things got out of hand. Where is Obama on this??


Then we’ll explain to them that Fredonia is a fictional country invented by Groucho Marx.

And they STILL won’t back down. Because they never back down when they’re busted on their lies – they invariably double down on their bets, in the hope that America has more stupid people than smart people.

"I am Captain Spalding, the African explorer..."


Preston said...

Judge Land and now judge Carter, smack down the crazies (case dismissed), poor little Birthers.

Not even “Fake News” Bill O’Reilly believes the crazies, how funny.

And honestly who in their right mind would listen to Pat, he is another loser.

To all the birthers in La, La Land, it is on you to prove to all of us that your assertion is true (TOUGH WHEN YOU KEEP LOSING CASES), if there are people who were there and support your position then show us the video (everyone has a price), either put up or frankly shut-up. I heard Orly Taitz, is selling a tape (I think it’s called “Money, Lies and Video tape”). She is from Orange County, CA, now I know what the mean when they say “behind the Orange Curtain”, when they talk about Orange County, the captial of Conspiracy Theories. You know Obama has a passport, he travel abroad before he was a Senator, but I guess they were in on it.

In my opinion the Republican Party has been taken over the most extreme religious right (people who love to push their beliefs on others while trying to take away the rights of those they just hate) and that’s who they need to extract from their party if they real want to win. Good Luck, because as they said in WACO, “We Ain’t Coming Out”.

I heard that she now wants to investigate the “Republican 2009 Summer of Love” list: Assemblyman, Michael D. Duvall (CA), Senator John Ensign (NV), Senator Paul Stanley (TN), Governor Mark Stanford (SC), Board of Ed Chair, and Kristin Maguire AKA Bridget Keeney (SC).

HelloDollyLlama said...

The more people like Orly Taitz become the public face of the GOP, the easier 2010 and 2012 will be for the Dems.

Michael said...

I really appreciate the Marx references. He was one of the best ever, even after all these years he's funny as hell. Your points were, of course, well put. Good insight that.

HelloDollyLlama said...

Hey, plagiarism is the sincerest form of flattery.

Rev.Paperboy said...

"Then we’ll explain to them that Fredonia is a fictional country invented by Groucho Marx."

Ah ha! So they are Marxists! just like Obama - that's why he is being so soft on them. Just like Neville Chamberlin was with that Stalin guy! We must stage a pre-emptive invasion of Fredonia and defeat these diabolical Marxists!

Quick, call the CIA and get agents Chicolini and Pinky to infiltrate their government.

Anonymous said...

Il semble que vous soyez un expert dans ce domaine, vos remarques sont tres interessantes, merci.

- Daniel