Obama greatness, in the palm of your hand

If you want to truly measure Obama’s greatness as a president, all you need is 36 cents.

Reach into your pocket and pull out a quarter, a dime and a penny.

Hold them in your hand while you read the following paragraphs.

Obama’s actual real-world accomplishments in his first year – his first nine months -- have been nothing short of extraordinary. All Obama did was, oh, let’s see, he improved America’s image internationally, repaired bilateral relations with dozens of countries, stopped the torture and other war crimes, persuaded Pakistan to go after the Taliban, freed two journalists from North Korea, resumed non-proliferation talks, got rid of the unnecessary fighter aircraft and choppers, proceeded with the Iraqi troop withdrawal, stopped the idiotic missile defense shield, repaired U.S. relations with the Muslim world, boosted our forces in Afghanistan and gave them a new commander, ordered the closure of Guantanamo, and shot a bunch of Somali pirates right in their fucking heads.

And signed equal pay for equal work, signed the children’s health package, helped kids to get college loans, raised the bar on emissions, protected the wilderness from the oilmen, nominated Sotomayor, led the fight against the swine flu, passed the health care bill, stopped pharmacists from cutting women off from birth control, reduced the secrecy in executive records, and opened the door to stem-cell research.

And saved hundreds of thousands of jobs (with the stimulus which even Republican governors begged for), gave food and support and health coverage to the unemployed, reformed the credit card industry, trimmed the budget by 200 billion a year, saved the automakers, created a bonanza with the wildly successful cash for clunkers, signed the anti-fraud bill, got the markets up 50 percent in a matter of months (in part by buying up depreciated real estate), turned the corner on unemployment, stopped the slide in GDP, established the homeowners credit, got banks to pay back big buckets of bailout money, and cut, I repeat CUT CUT CUT our taxes.

All with the Republicans fucking fucking fucking with him every step of the way. Fucking with him every day, on every issue, with near perfect unanimity.

All while fighting the titanic health care battle, a goal which has eluded a century of presidents and reformers.

In all of American history, I can only think of three presidents who measure up to Obama, for performance in their first year of office.

One’s on the dime.
One’s on the penny.
And one’s on the quarter.