Saturday 17 November 2012

Obama kills the Twinkie!

Chyron at the bottom of Fox News: OBAMA ATTACKING YOUR CHILDREN?

“Are the cameras all rolling? Is the mike hot? Good! This is Senator John McCain, talking to America from the Senate Press Gallery, yet again – hey, kid, never ever get between me and a camera!...And I am here today, to warn you of yet another Obama scandal that is rocking the nation. Something which will be a tragedy for little children all across this great land of ours. THE WAR ON TWINKIES. It is obvious to a child of ten, that this dastardly attack on one of our most cherished childhood foods, has been masterminded, behind closed doors, in the dark of night, by an evil conspiracy of union thugs, and their arugula-eating stooges in the Obama administration. INCLUDING OBAMA HIMSELF. All this talk from the First Lady about eating healthy foods – coincidence? I don’t think so! We intend to bypass the established Senate Committees and set up a Special Select Committee just to address this Twiknie crisis, and stock it with the loudest, most annoying Republican camera-hog Senators we can find. Then we will bring out our most rabid House tea-party members to really light up the screen, led by Darrell Issa and his impeachment managers. We’ll go after Biden too, and make John Boehner our President! Slide that tanning bed right into the Oval! And now here’s a recap of Rush Limbaugh’s emergency broadcast on this scandal….”

Don’t laugh. Because a Republican jihad over Twinkies would be no more fallacious than their current Benghazigate frenzy over a diplomat who merely repeated the talking points the CIA gave her, just like Condy Rice did before her.

The truth about Twinkiegate is that vulture capitalists of the Romney variety have taken over the Twinkie parent company, and decided to sell off the Hostess assets and throw the workers out of the factories, regardless of what happened in talks with the workers. Along the way they suddenly quadrupled the salaries of senior managers just before declaring bankruptcy, which in more enlightened times would be called theft. They picked a fight with their workers, demanding cuts in pay and benefits which they knew the workers couldn’t afford, and then blamed the evil unions for destroying the company. So prepare to see more of this: firms destroying their workers’ lives and then blaming the workers for refusing to work for pennies a day. It’s not a bankruptcy: it’s a permanent lockout.

So Twinkiegate really is a scandal after all. Republicans busting out a company like the Gambinos busting out a mobbed-up restaurant, stealing everything that isn’t nailed down, firing all the cooks, and setting the place on fire. The kind of future guys like Romney envision for all of America. What if he had won?

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