Monday, 19 November 2012

GOP terrified of naked Indian!

Samoa-born Tulsi Gabbard, 31, is a decorated Iraq veteran and martial arts instructor; she achieved a singular distinction for a female warfighter, becoming primary trainer for the ultra-conservative Kuwaiti national guard. She got a business degree and was elected to the Hawaiian legislature at 21, the youngest ever in the nation. She was just elected to the House of Representatives as a Democrat, 81 percent to 19. She won by 62 points.

She’s got some serious game.

She is everything Republicans hate: she supports choice for women on abortion and contraception, and same-sex marriage. Unsurprisingly she supports women in combat and works to stop the big banks from foreclosing on deployed troops. And she’s a woman in power, a woman who intensely dislikes bullies; while she was accomplishing all this in her very short life, she also defeated a phone stalker.

And when she is sworn into office this January, she will be sworn in on the Hindu holy book, the Gita, not the Bible. Because she is a devout Hindu.

And this is going to cause some silliness. Five years ago the conservative media went totally crazy when Muslim Congressman Keith Ellison reenacted his oath of office using a Muslim Qur’an, and oddly no sensible person ever asked why a Muslim would ever swear on a Bible. The same year, when a Hindu prayer was said on the Senate floor, rightwing protesters interrupted from the visitors’ balcony, and other conservatives condemned the prayer. It violates the Constitution, the Founding Fathers never would have approved, they don’t believe what we believe, blah blah blah. And of course the wingnuts still insist that Barack Obama is a scary Muslim, even though he was, in fact, the only true Christian in the 2012 presidential race, assuming we’re not counting third parties and the Mormon with his magic stones and magic underwear.

So when Gabbard gets up there with her Gita, expect her to get Fluked by Rush Limbaugh and carpet-bombed with The Crazy by the loony right. Three more choruses of “The Death of Traditional America”. OMG this snake-charming slut from the banks of the Barah-maputra! White Christians, look to your muskets!

By the time they are done, Republicans will have alienated the Hindus in America. All two million of them. Because the wingnuts don’t think they’ve done enough to irritate minorities in America. And the Hindus will remember this in the next election. To make my joy complete, two of the largest concentrations of Hindu worship are in states the Republicans absolutely must retain, if they are to avoid the terrible doom of the Whigs: Florida and Texas.

Personally, I think Gabbard should totally mess with their heads, drive the wingnuts nuts. She should strip naked, ululate in Hindi, sacrifice a goat on the House dais, set it on fire, and then give John Boehner the heart of the goat to eat. Make sure Fox News has their cameras rolling. And then just show up in her red power suit and pearls the next day, like nothing happened.

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