Some questions for the gay-bashers and evangelicals

I’ve been observing the activities of religious people and atheists on the internet, and some interesting questions have arisen.

Only a couple of chapters into the FIRST book of the Bible, not long after God creates all the people and animals, he says he’s going to destroy them because he regrets ever making them. So how is a deity who decides to destroy almost everything he created….all-wise? He admits he got almost all of the creation WRONG. He seems to have gotten the sea and the sky right, but as soon as he started out messing with living things, it was like watching my daughter try to make spaghetti sauce. You would think that once his experiments with rats, cockroaches and mosquitos turned out badly, he should have known that creating complicated creatures was just beyond him.

Why did the Christian who said  “I love the Lord. His eye is on the sparrow, and he will always protect me!” follow that up with “Oops, gotta go, I’m meeting the State Farm guy to get the home, auto, life and health package!”

If god is omniscient, why did the Jews have to mark their doors during Passover? Didn’t he even know who was obeying his laws and who wasn’t?

Where did Noah live, if every species of animal was right around the corner? What crazy-ass jungle did he live in?

So first Christianity tells us that reason came to us from God, but doubt came from Satan. Aren’t they pretty much part of the same thing?

Jesus erased all the sin of the world, for all generations, for pretending to be dead from Friday night to Sunday morning? Does that really sound like sacrifice, when the rest of us have to stay dead permanently? He dies for 36 hours and we are dead forever? No wonder God ignored him in the Garden of Gethsemane. “Father, please take this cup away from me!”…”Geez, what’s the big deal, you’re dead a day and a half. I’ve had longer hangovers. Stop whining and get ready for Judas to kiss you.”

So…Christians are so persecuted in this country that they…have the freedom to bang on everyone’s doors to convert the heathen, put God on the dollar bill, protest on the streets of our cities, and put Bibles in four million hotel rooms in the country?

You people wave the first amendment in everyone’s faces when you think anyone is persecuting you in religious terms by doing horrible things like saying “happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”, but at the same time, you’re constantly trying to take away everyone else’s first-amendment rights by demanding laws that transform your religious beliefs into legislation, on everything from gays and abortion to evolution and stem-cell research. Now you have people in Arizona trying to ban atheists from even attending high school. How long are you going to insist on first-amendment rights for yourselves but not for anyone else, before we have to seriously smack you people around?

Why do anti-abortion zealots insist that life begins at conception, when Genesis says life begins when you take your first breath?

So God kills a million living breathing innocent babies a year, but opposes abortion?

What if we introduced a constitutional amendment that a state can only have as many gun stores as it has abortion clinics?

All you guys who hate abortion – why don’t you get vasectomies, or pledge to give up sex entirely? Or not pressure a woman into sex when neither of you is ready to be a parent? That would absolutely cut down the abortion rate. What if your wives decided that since you’ve banned abortion and contraception, their only alternative is abstinence? Say goodnight, Mister Happy!

Why do so many Christian rednecks have tattoos, which are banned in the same book of the Bible that allegedly bans gays?

When God made millions of gay people and thousands of species with gay behavior – was that a mistake too?

The Bible doesn’t say to stop gays from marrying, it says to kill gays. If you’re not killing gays today, aren’t you disobeying the Bible as much as the gays are?

The anti-gay language in Leviticus says that YOU will not lie with a male as with a woman, which, like the rest of the Torah, assumes that men will be making all the decisions about sex; how long before your wives figure out how abominably women are treated in the Bible?

Gay and lesbian teens are five times as likely to commit suicide, because of persecution and bullying from people from you. Did you realize that your tyrannical effort to “save” the rest of us now has a body count?

So the imaginary gay effort to convert straights to homosexuality is an abomination, but the very real Christian effort to brainwash gays to become straight is critical to saving America?

A religious group which tried to take people’s money for “gay conversion” therapy has now found itself in court, for fraud and abuse. They made unsubstantiated claims about the scientific validity and success rates of their “cures”, claims rejected by the American Psychiatric Association (even other “gay converters” are finally giving up the game and apologizing). They’re now claiming that the people suing them are preventing their clients/victims from seeking their own self-deterrmination – seriously. What if the government decided that America’s churches have abused the first amendment long enough? Go track down all the churches that get involved in politics (i.e. all of them) and veer off into non-religious fields like science and medicine, and revoke their tax exemptions? File charges of anti-trust violations for trying to stop other faiths, and atheists, from doing business? Charges of civil rights violations for trying to deprive women of their rights to abortion and contraception? RICO charges, for running a criminal enterprise, which would be a very easy case to make against the Catholic church for running a global pedophilia ring for centuries? Fraud charges across the board for taking people’s money and promising heaven in return?

The goofy “gay conversion” efforts in America are even less amusing when transplanted overseas. In South Africa, white supremacists, as a sideline, have built “gay conversion” camps, where children have died. “Conversion” by means of burns, beatings, starvation, dehydration, chaining children to their beds, forcing children to eat feces and cleansing powder, torturing children who beg to leave. Is this what you hope to impose in America? Huckabee already said he wants to put HIV patients in concentration camps – do you want that for all gays??

Oh, and for extra credit:

Can you prove to me there are no mermaids or centaurs?

Prove to me there are no dragons or unicorns?

Prove to me there is no Santa or Easter Bunny?

Prove to me there is no Voldemort or Darth Vader?

Oh, you can’t? Then STFU about demanding that I prove there’s no God.