Thursday 2 May 2013

News alert: scary immigrants!

In the wake of the Boston bombing, and the changing national dialogue about immigration, I have a scary warning for you, about some frightening people who have immigrated into this country.


One group has come to America because they are religious hardliners and outcasts: they didn’t fit in where they came from, and when they sought refuge in a second country, they found life to be too hard economically, they caused trouble for religious reasons, and they’ve shown themselves to be dead serious about protecting their ethnic identity rather than assimilating. Finally they were forced to leave the second country and come to the U.S. Once here, they have been bitterly hostile to others who don’t share their religious views.

A second, similar group has followed the first, bringing the same sorts of baggage with them; they hate the notion that their country would be fighting wars or asking their people to support those wars.

A third group consists of poor people forced to work for others who control their lives in every respect; many of them have been widely assumed to be barbarians of inferior intellect.

A fourth group has fled from revolution at home; once they arrived they have resisted assimilating with the locals or even speaking English.

A fifth group is a bunch of dirt poor people who live a primitive, clannish existence, hating other ethnic groups, and suspicious even of members of their own group if they are outside the local clan.

A sixth group is heavily loaded with criminals and is also loaded with disease.

A seventh group consists of economic refugees who cling to their religious sect and don’t get on well with those professing other religions.

An eighth group consists of religious separatists fleeing oppression, people who reject Christianity.

Almost all of these people lacked proper documents when they arrived, they had serious trouble supporting themselves and needed help from the people already here, many have had trouble with the law, and they have often fought violently among themselves and with members of other groups. And these people launched violent attacks against the people who were already here in America.



So who are these ghastly infiltrators who have penetrated our national defenses and infected our country with their problems and their behavior?

It’s us.

First group, the Pilgrims from the 1600s. Second group, the Quakers. Third group, slaves and indentured children. Fourth group, the Germans and Dutch who moved into Pennsylvania and the Midwest. Fifth, the Scots and Irish in Appalachia. Sixth, colonists in the South. Seventh, the Irish (and also the Italians). Eighth, the Jews.

They – we – came here without documents, poor, fighting among themselves, fighting with the other groups, killing each other, killing the people who were already here, stealing land. And once here, “they” fought a bloody insurgency against their government, an insurgency which involved terrorist attacks, and then fought yet another insurgency defending the “right” to enslave, beat and kill other people – an insurgency that killed 600,000. “They” have oppressed ethnic minorities, religious minorities and women. They committed ethnic cleansing against the Mexicans, genocide against native Americans, they put innocent Japanese in concentration camps, and of course the Africans….Millions of “them” embrace oppressive policies to this day, they are violent, they are impossible to reason with, and they love guns.

Whose bright idea was it, to let these dangerously crazy people into our country?


…In other words, we are all descended from the “bad element”. “Real” Americans are scarier than all the people they’re afraid of. The people who are trying to remake our immigration laws, to keep out the “bad element”, should ask themselves whether their own ancestors could meet the standard they’re trying to establish for the newcomers.

That should include the last two GOP candidates for President, one of whom wasn’t even born in this country and made his name by crashing planes into inanimate objects on several occasions (McCain). The other is a member of a non-Christian religious sect launched by a convicted con artist, a man whose grandfather entered the country illegally (Romney).

Or Marco Rubio, whose main claim to fame is lying about his family coming to America because they were fleeing Castro. Or Ted Cruz who megalomaniacally thinks he’s eligible to be President although he wasn’t even born in this country. Or Huckabee who wants to put HIV patients in concentration camps. Or Michele Bachmann who advocated sending armed mobs into Capitol Hill to intimidate Democrats into voting “the right way”. Or Ron Paul who is mentally unstable and who essentially wants to dismantle our government. Or Sarah Palin and Rick Perry, who advocate using the secession tool to break up this country entirely. Or Piyush Jindal, a religious extremist who changed his name to “Bobby” so no one would notice that his parents came from a territory right around the corner from (gasp!) Pakistan. Would any of these unstable people be welcome in this country if we tightened up the immigration rules, as they insist?